As I was gathering my mise en place for this post (that’s fancy chef’s talk for “all your shit”), I realized I was running pretty low on eggs. I definitely didn’t want to leave the house, but sometimes, like hopefully not more than thrice a week, you have to leave the house. I threw on my track jacket and marched down to my local mini-mart. They are my favorite convenience shop by a large margin, because they carry unsalted butter, slush, and Four Loko. I’ve never had a Four Loko, but it’s just a comfort that when the time comes to finally go to a Bruins game, I know just where to brown-bag. As I went about my shopping, a very snarky stock-gentleman took inventory of my appearance and said, “Saw that look in GQ this week.” I told him, “Why don’t you shut the hell up, Jacko, and sell me a Fresca?” Hahahaha, just kidding, his name is Steve.
I’m sorry, bro, not feeling my snowflake-patterned mukluks and spandex? I’ll have you know that these Wayfarers FOLD UP. They completely fold into themselves for even more convenience than any other Ray Bans have thus provided. What I’m trying to say here is I look dope, so get off my case young Tibetan-male-Joan-Rivers.
I’m just trying to do me over here. I’m trying to stay original while cultivating a learned mind and stout body. I go to the gym five days a week, eat a lot of arugula, and read the New York Times on my iPhone. That’s not the Post, people. I just bought a ukulele on Amazon for thirty bucks. I’ve worked hard to achieve this balance in my life, and you could too if you were unemployed. A gal’s got to do something while she waits patiently in the dead, dark silence of the phone never ringing.
That’s kind of what this cake is all about. This cake is like, “This is me, I am here. You can accept it or you can eat a cookie.” This cake is about being the true you. That’s why I just took some strawberries and threw ‘em in there. Strawberries just want to be themselves, shining brightly like a natural ruby in a big pile of lab-cultivated rubies.
This cake is made in a bundt pan and drizzled with Blood Orange glaze. It is soft and cuddly, with a tangy zip from fresh lemon juice. I would serve it at a fancy brunch, or in bed with a fork when you’re feeling really lonely.
“I Do What I Want” Strawberry Cake with Blood Orange Glaze
1 lb Fresh strawberries
1 cup Sugar
6 tbsp Unsalted butter, softened
1 egg yolk
2 cups Flour
1 ½ tsp Baking powder
½ tsp Salt
2 tbsp Fresh lemon juice
2 tbsp Milk
Preheat oven to 350°F
Cut the green tops off of strawberries, halve them, and set aside.
Butter and flour your bundt pan. Place a few of your strawberries on the bottom of the pan, like so:
In the bowl of a mixer with a paddle attachment, combine butter and sugar and beat on high speed to cream. Scrape the bowl down after a few minutes, and continue to beat. The mixture should become light, fluffy, and very soft. Turn down the speed and add eggs and yolk one at a time, making sure each is incorporated before adding the next. Once all are in, scrape down the bowl, then beat the mixture on high for 10 minutes.
In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking powder, and salt and whisk together. In a small bowl, combine the lemon juice and milk. This will curdle, but that’s perfectly fine.
After the eggs have beaten, turn the speed down low and alternate adding flour and liquid, starting and ending with the flour. Once added, scrape down the bowl again, mix for another few seconds, then stop! Do not over mix. We don’t want to make bread.
Pour batter into bundt pan and spread out evenly. Then, just stick your strawberries into the batter throughout the cake! You can definitely add them all. I happened to reserve a few to clean the mixing bowl with, and eat. That’s a gross thing to do. Don’t be like me.
Bake cake between 25-35 minutes. Use a toothpick to test cake, making sure the toothpick comes out cleanly when piercing the cake. Allow to cool slightly, then turn upside-down onto a plate. If the cake is still a little warm, the glaze will stick to the cake much more easily.
Blood Orange Glaze
Zest of 1 Blood Orange
Juice of 1 Blood Orange
3 cups Confectioner’s sugar
In a mixer or by hand, whisk together zest, juice, and sugar. Use a spoon to drizzle over warm cake.Follow @AlexMLombino